Dramaville: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide to Visit

Jerry Garcia mural

Aside from the drugs, alcohol, and unprotected sex, it was actually a healthy lifestyle.

Here at Freaking Fitness, we’re all about holistic health.

The idea of holistic health might give you visions of tie-dye, patchouli, and the Grateful Dead; but the definition according to the online dictionary is: “A concept in medical practice upholding that all aspects of people’s needs, psychological, physical and social should be taken into account and seen as a whole.”

This implies that if one part is unhealthy, we truly aren’t a healthy person. We might have a healthy body-fat percentage, eat a perfectly balanced diet rich in nutrients, kick some cross-fit butt, and complete marathons; but if we’re polluting our hearts and minds, are we really making healthy choices?

That takes me to the thought of drama.

There are different kinds of dramas. First, there’s the kind that happens to you and you don’t really have much say in the matter, and then there’s the kind that we choose to participate in.

Choose.

I love that word.

I can blame at least half of my life blunders on that one.

What we choose to participate in can undo all the healthiest of intentions we have for the other parts of our life. That’s especially true for a visit to

Dramaville.

5 Questions Before You Go

Like trying to decide if it’s a good idea to hit the Krispy Kreme drive-thu, a bit of self-searching can often save us from a decision we might soon regret.

1. What’s my gut telling me?

You ever had someone ask you to do something that in your gut you knew you shouldn’t do? You felt uneasy and maybe a bit scared? I tell my daughters to ALWAYS listen to your gut. If your gut says no, there’s probably a good reason.

2. Is the conversation productive FOR ALL INVOLVED?

Some people just like to hear themselves talk. That’s okay, if the conversation is generally beneficial. But beware the life-sucking convo that, as you participate, makes you feel your inner light going out. When your emotions start the downward descent, it’s best to bail. My friend @MizFitOnline wisely made that decision as an online drama unfolded. She couldn’t have predicted the negative behavior of some, and when she knew in her gut it was time, she stopped the about-to-be-downward spiral. From my perspective, it was not only wise for her sake, sanity, and emotions, but it was also a wise and compassionate decision that benefited her community.

3. What’s the ultimate purpose?

Is the conversation to illuminate an injustice, spark change, or just rant? Is it to be part of a crowd? Or is an issue you always have felt strongly about?

4. Will I take the high road under all circumstances?

Trolls. They’re part of online life. They’re not going to go away. Unlike a conversation with a few close friends via a phone call, texts, or even emails, once you put yourself out there it’s online forever. Would you be proud a month, a year, 10 years from now if you read it? Are you fine with your kids reading it, or maybe their friends telling them what you wrote? Imagine the “Dude,what’s your mom (or dad) been smoking?”

5.  Am I willing to live with the consequences?

Consequences come in only two flavors. Good and bad. If what you wrote gets turned around and interpreted in a way you didn’t intend, are you willing and ready for what may happen to your life, your brand, your relationships, and ultimately your health?

 

What do you do before you take on an issue? Do you think about it or do you dive right in?

Please share your wisdom!

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. blogomomma says:

    I actually am not very wise and my gut  normally ONLY tells me to eat pizza and then retreats to it’s tire like form.

    However, a rant is a rant is a rant and as far as I know exists to just get it out – which in most cases is best done in the confidence of a very trustworthy friend….or between the voices in your head ( seating capacity 6). 

    Ultimately what lures us in is emotion.  My quick checklist is:  does this effect me, my inner circle or my community, is the information accurate and are the reactions to the topic fair and reasonable, is this creationism or evolution.  Before I hit send …. have I been respectful.

    “Just checked into dramaville with 80 million others”  *sigh* 4Sq.

  2. I have 2 thoughts on this:
    1. I have been talking the “drama” talk with many people lately – online friends and offline. The drama just has to go, period. Before I take on an issue, especially ones online, I think about – long and hard. And after I’ve thought about it long and hard my consensus is 99.9% of the time to keep my mouth closed. Most drama = negativity. Negative people are not healthy people. Which brings me to….

    2. I go to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where we learn all about the holistic self and “primary food” which is not just the “food” like we think of it. It is, as you said, a multitude of many other things that comprise the healthy being. Drama creates stress and stress creates an unhealthy self. And for that reason, I tend to typically take your high road!

    Great post, Joyce! We are always in sync on thoughts:)

    • Joyce Cherrier says:

      I agree Sarah.. mostly negative stuff. Even what starts as positive seems to inevitably take the low road. Stress that’s not properly channeled leads to lots of health issues you are so right, and loooove that Integrative Nutrition teaches a holistic view! Thanks for sharing your always insightful, uplifting thoughts! 

  3. Great post. It really is a choice as to whether or not to engage in drama. I’ve been trying to choose not to,  and it’s been a heck of a lot less stressful in my life! Good luck!

  4. Great post. 
    Before I take on an issue, I try to ask myself one bigger question …….. do I fully understand the meaning and the context before I respond and if I do, and honestly, will I be following the golden rule in answering.
    If I am treating people like I wish to be treated and believe I understand, then my response comes from my heart —

  5. These are GREAT tips. Having grown up in a home where conflict and drama was the norm, it took me a long time to understand that there are other ways of being! And how sweet it is! I’ve learned that it truly is better for me NOT to engage when “triggered.” And that includes with both others AND myself. Sometimes, however, I feel that I do myself a disservice because I don’t want to debate an issue that I feel strongly about. I’m still working it out, and it’s all good…

    It’s about self-awareness and self-acceptance: being okay not matter what happens…

    • Joyce Cherrier says:

      Hi Karen! Totally get that about growing up in a home where conflict is the norm. Being aware of triggers is such a huge step towards holistic health. It applies to all aspects. We’re all always a work in progress yes? Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your wise words! 

  6. Drama’s so draining. Who has time for it, especially when someone is trying to suck you into theirs. Great post Joyce!

  7. I’m not a big fan of drama, I prefer to hide under a rock and wait for it to pass..  Will only roust myself in rare cases of extreme injustice… or if anyone tries to steal my chocolate. 

  8. Oh the drama! It’s definitely a choice & a battle! I find myself getting sucked in sometimes and I have to have a quick conversation with myself! “Self, is it worth it?” “What’s the objective?” and so it goes. Although I stray from always distancing myself from it, I can find my way out VERY quickly!

    Great article Joyce – made me think and that’s always a good thing 🙂

  9. I can’t stand drama. It wastes my time, saps my energy (yes, it takes energy to hurl a mad, pissed or bitchy feeling towards someone) and can totally ruin a good ‘n happy situation in an instant IF you feed into it. Marriage has been my best teacher of how to best avoid drama by picking your battles, knowing when do back down (or stand your ground), and how to do it all without potentially devastating affects. I do not like drama. There’s also a drama element that has to do with gossiping and being nosy. But in the end, it mostly comes down to NOT knowing when to shut up and stop talking. Oh gawsh, I could go on and on about this. But since I’m living the drama-free life, I’ll quit yapping now. 😉  

    • Joyce Cherrier says:

      Love the marriage comparison! I know if I opened my mouth every time I had a negative thought and wanted to speak without thinking, I wouldn’t still be married! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and wisdom 🙂 

  10. I made a decision when starting my blog that I would not feed the trolls.  I think making the choice to sidestep drama becomes easier as we age.  We get comfortable with ourselves and stand by our opinions.  That said, I know I can still get riled up.  The secret is in knowing to calm down quickly because the knot in my stomach, well, it’s only hurting me….not the trolls. 

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